January 18, 2017
Today was my second full day tracking with weight watchers and being back on my exercise routine since getting hurt last week.
Eating wise, tracking my food has been super easy on the WW app. My first day I had 7 points left over, today I used every last one of my 42 daily points. I feel full and satisfied. I wanted to try weight watchers to build a better relationship with food. I have a problem with thinking I'm eating too much. When I'm 100% on track I get so focused on the numbers that I think that counteracts the whole reason I'm trying to lose weight. I want to lose weight to be healthy - mind, body and soul. So getting caught up in the numbers really messes with my head. I found myself getting upset in the morning and I weighed .5 more than I did the day before. Ridiculous right? But in my head to me it's a big deal and that's the mid set I'm trying to shift away from. I have a very all or nothing attitude. I struggle with binge eating and have for along time. Which coupled with my anxiety, depression, and then 2 pregnancies in 2 years is what led me here where I am today health wise. And honestly I was just lazy, I wanted a quick fix. I didn't want to do the work. I've come so far from that mindset in the past 4 months, I still struggle with it but my good days outweigh the bad. But now I need to steer away from the obsessing over numbers, calories, workouts, food etc and just focus on healthy habits. Being active, but not spending so much time thinking of when and how I'm going to workout and how long or how many calories I need to burn. To me that's not healthy either. I just want to find a happy medium, and LIVE life. I feel like I haven't been living, I've just been existing and I really want to enjoy my life with my family. That's the whole goal here.
Exercise - I have felt so much better since last Thursday when I hurt myself. I had all intentions on getting back into my exercise routine on Monday but had a very emotional day and put it off. So Tuesday (also first day tracking WW) was my first day back to working out. I've been taking it easy and doing light cardio just because I'm nervous to get hurt. Hopefully if all goes well this week I will be incorporating my higher intensity workouts next week.
On our walk today I was taking a photo of Cash and he just gave me the biggest smile and thumbs up. It really melted my heart a little bit. Ive been kinda down about my progress this past month but he showed me today that no matter how everything is going as long as I'm trying I should be proud. Him and jade both are always encouraging me to be better even though they don't know it and don't do it intentionally. It's really crazy how kids can do that. I need to star being proud of my accomplishments again even if they are small. My mentality has been so negative since Christmas that I've just been taking everything so harsh and I think that's one reason my progress has slowed as well. Definitely working on the mentality aspect hardcore this week so I can get back to being all positive.
Weighin - I plan to weighin on Tuesdays. So I'm really hoping by next Tuesday I will be back at 250. I've been gaining and losing the same 10 pounds for about a month now. I'm so ready to get into the 240s and keeping up the momentum from there on for the next few months.
In October I will be the maid of honor in my best friends wedding so my goal for then is to be 201. That will put me at 100 pounds down, it's a crazy goal that I hope is achievable. This summer I will be going up to New York to go dress shopping so I would like to be 230ish by then.
Setting goals is very important for me, I feel like it gives me something to work towards!
Cash : Age 3
